


Adventures in Cooking

by bogmage



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adventure, Gen, Humor, Implied Drug Use, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-12 23:51:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bogmage/pseuds/bogmage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aradia and Tavros accidentally get high and have a misadventure. Written for HSO 2012 BR1, for the combined genre prompt "AradiaTavros, Stoner Adventure + Food Network Show."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Cooking

“Tavros. Tavros, we have to go out.”

“Huh? What for?”

“Haven’t you been paying attention?” Aradia gestures vaguely towards the television, eyes bright and excited. 

Some sort of cooking show is on. Master Cook, or Bronze Chef, or something. He hadn’t really been paying attention. His thoughts had been wandering for a while now, probably since he and Aradia had eaten the brownies someone had left on the counter in their dorm kitchen. “So, you want to go out to eat?” He can understand that. He feels kind of hungry himself.

“No! Look,” she gestures more insistently at the television, “Look at that meat! I want to go hunt!” 

“Aradia. Um. I think there is a possibility that hunting is slightly less than legal. Without a license.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure? This is an opportunity of a lifetime! You don’t get chances to kill and cook your own food everyday.” Aradia stands up and shakes her fist in the air as if to emphasize the magnitude of the situation. 

“Well…as long we can take your car. I feel kind of odd—I don’t think I should drive.”

“Woohoo! That’s the spirit! This is going to be so much fun, just you wait.”

Ten minutes later they’re driving around the city in Aradia’s beaten-up jeep in the middle of the night. Aradia still seems extremely enthusiastic, but Tavros is starting to wonder what kind of animals they’re going to find around campus. Certainly nothing tasty like a chicken or a cow. He really hopes Aradia won’t make them eat something gross like opossum or—

“Whoa!” Aradia slams on the brakes and the car comes to a sudden stop that jolts Tavros into the dashboard. 

“Aradia, what’s wrong?” He looks around wildly, trying to see anything that would have made her stop the car so suddenly. 

“Look, there’s a hedgehog in the road. I didn’t want to run over him.” She points to a spot a few feet in front of the right front tire. “Let’s wait for him to cross the road.”

They sit there for a few minutes, but the hedgehog isn’t moving. It's just…sitting there. Aradia suddenly gasps and turns to face Tavros, a little bit too excited. “You don’t think it’s already dead, do you?”

“Oh man, I hope not! Let me check.” He hops out of the car and approaches the hedgehog slowly, careful not to startle it. He stands over it with an odd look on his face, then stoops down and scoops it into his hands, carrying it back to Aradia.

“Is it okay?”

“Aradia, I’m not sure how to say this. The hedgehog, it’s, well, it’s just a pinecone.”

A beat.

Neither one seems quite sure what this means for their adventure. 

Aradia is the first to come to a conclusion. “We can’t eat the hedgehog.”

“Pinecone,” Tavros reminds her.

“Pinecone,” Adadia agrees. “Completely inedible. We’ll have to continue our hunt.”

Half an hour later, they are starting to become weary of their quest. The only other animals they’d come across were stray cats, and they had agreed right away cats were worse than pinecones. And so, they find themselves in the Beef section of the nearest grocery store. 

“Tavros.”

“Yeah, Aradia?”

“Cooking is hard.”

“Yeah, I think it’s sort of a learned skill.”

“I don’t know how to cook.”

“Me, neither.”

An hour later, they have made it back to the dorm and are happily snacking on beef jerky. On the table in front of them is a small cage holding their new pet hedgehog, Pinecone.


End file.
